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Russell: Then, just recently, when a student inquired about certain parts of her Purgatory, she wrote the following:
Pamela: Dear impressive sir – you are the epitome of “I love him who loves work” and you have a critical mind…Bravo!!
In regards to the objective states, you asked, “How do I confirm that these are really my deepest, strongest and most genuine wishes.”
Actually, they may or may not be your deepest, strongest and most genuine wishes. If they are, your work will enhance them, and if they are not, your work will build them. Due to our deformation from life, there will be those I’s that are strong and there will be those I’s that are weak.
Through the years of work on myself, I did run into those I’s that simply were not ‘on board’ with the plan, they were not a part of the original decision; but, I knew they were false I’s and I did not take them too seriously, rather, I kept working on my aim, and the rogue I’s ceased to have force. You may or may not run into opposing I’s. Some of my false I’s actually had me retreating at times, but my higher I’s knew that it was just me running from myself, so, onward I kept and eventually those I’s that did not know about consciousness gave up and disappeared. Work on self is definitely a journey and each machine is crusted over in various, unique, independent ways; some more than others, some not so much crust…that is subjective to each person. That is why there are no books on this part of the journey, it is too individualized because each machine was developed differently and uniquely through life’s twists and details.
Once I found Russell and the fourth way, my work began. I was with Russ before The Objective Exercise was discovered, so I did a lot of practical work based on fourth way readings. I did things to try to break habits, like not saying the word ‘I’, not allowing myself to indulge in favorite things; I only did these things for short intervals, just to break my mechanicalness. For example, I used to eat lots of chocolate, so I did not allow myself to have chocolate for 3 days. Once my 3rd day was accomplished, I went one extra day, just to let the machine know I was in charge. Chocolate has never had the force it once had. Another example was in thinking I had to make my bed a certain way, so I didn’t make my bed at all for a few days; or thinking I had to rotate my clothes to wear, so I simply grabbed something to wear without thinking it through, sometimes things didn’t match (of course I did this on the weekends, not at work). Remember this work is practical and we don’t want to bring the wrong attention from others, people that would not understand. So, if you are doing an inner, personal ‘breaking of the machine’ exercise when others are involved, it gets modified or ceases; and we do what is necessary for the moment. And this work is not about hurting oneself, so nothing extreme.
Once the objective exercise was in place for me, REAL work began, Steward could show me areas of my house that I would probably never have seen on my own, or maybe, would have seen, but it could have taken years; but Steward showed me crevices. Steward made it quick and a complete and thorough cleaning; this was not overnight, but the preliminary cleaning was swift, then on to the inexactitudes, which are just lingering residues. With the fourth way knowledge, Steward, and Russell’s brilliance and understanding, it was a game changer. His beautiful, incredible models and the use of objective math, rather than a belief, made it touchable, verifiable, and was driven by good sense. His knowledge and models gave me insight for the potential everyone could be, and when I saw and understood those things, I wanted to be a part of that remarkable opportunity. I wanted to fulfil my potential! Like Russell, seeing truth gave me purpose and Russell’s way gave me a way of achieving it.
In the Views From The Real World passage (pgs 56 – 59) that Russell suggests, I memorized that many years ago, and in so doing, it touched my being deeper and deeper, as most memory work will. In part of it Gurdjieff warns:
“Bear in mind that your sight has the property of presenting distant objects as though they were near. Beguiled by the nearness of the aim toward which you strive, blinded by its beauty and ignorant of the measure of your own strength, you will not notice the obstacles on the way; you will not see the numerous ditches across the path. In a green meadow covered with luxuriant flowers, in the thick grass, a deep precipice is hidden. It is very easy to stumble and fall over it if your eyes are not concentrated on the step you are taking.
“Do not forget to concentrate all your attention on the nearest sector of the way; do not concern yourself about far aims if you do not wish to fall over the precipice.
“Yet do not forget your aim. Remember it the whole time and keep up in yourself an active endeavor toward it, so as not to lose the right direction. And once you have started, be observant; what you have passed through remains behind and will not appear again; so if you fail to notice it at the time, you never will notice it.”
I do not know your machine and perhaps it is cleaner than most, only you can discover that, either way, focusing on the nearest sector is best, putting your attention on the first signpost that leads you to the ultimate destination. Your destination may be closer than you think, it may only take a little shove here and there, a little cleaning here and there, but you will not know that until you begin taking it apart. This is subjective to each person. Some people will have to overcome many things, some big, some small; others may not have to overcome much, just work on fine-tuning. With every effort you will gather the necessary nutrients to crystallize an astral body; a right machine produces higher bodies…it is a natural by-product.
And to be thorough about your question, I am not certain you can confirm these wishes. Some students have had those wishes, earnest wishes and after waking up, a few months/years later, they decide to return to the church, or to pursue another avenue. Yet, in the beginning, they truly thought their wishes were sincere, were their true desire, gave it all they had, then something changed. But many more students never turn back, they stay the course. So, no matter how genuine you may or may not be, only time will tell. It is like some marriages, when two people are deeply in love, then down the road, one of them falls out of love even though in the beginning it seemed so real and genuine. Time and effort are the only factors that will answer your question, and no answer will be wrong, you must follow the path that draws you.
In regards to your question…How to find the place in you that will answer the questions most truthfully, not just as I’s from the Intellectual Center.
Your tenacity of efforts has proven your desire exists; you have already tipped the scales on that. I would say you have already found that place. It may only look intellectual to you, but you do get emotionally touched by certain events, certain thoughts. Gurdjieff tells us this work is about ‘being’. Many will come that have to work on their intellect, get it out of the way, they will have to encourage and create the right emotions. Others will already have the emotions necessary, they will simply need to weed out the negative or false ones; and, they may need to work on creating more power in the intellect, work on understanding the laws better, and etc. Our moving center is easy, simply work on unnecessary muscle usage, observe, etc. You could do Russell’s Higher Feedback exercise on this question and allow whatever there is to be revealed. Whatever you discover, it is acceptable and nonrestrictive, it is just knowledge for you to work with. There are no judgements here in this place. Everyone must choose their own path, whatever it is.
Right being is our main goal, being balanced. How do we know that we have accomplished that? It is about controlling the machine. Doing by not doing. This is a journey, a lifetime journey. Full of wonder, discovery, excitement, love, enlightenment, soul searching, peace, living to the fullest, and being here and now. If you fear your work is intellectual only, then encourage things that will build your emotion, things that will touch your being. But from what I have read in your emails, although you are extremely intelligent, I believe you harbor many right emotions; you were touched by the Karate Kid!! Find beauty in a tree, in a bug, in the convenience of a door knob, or stairs.
Feed those emotions with all that is around you. Once you have experienced this place and any new places you encounter, you will be able to read where you are in yourself, you will sense your being, you may even sense your astral body.
I hope I have answered your questions at least a little. Keep going toward the nearest sector.
With genuine sincerity, I Am, Pamela
Initial Inflation:
1. The big bang, instantly, created everything… and this "everything" occupied a place that was bigger than the space in which it was instantly created. Space was forced to expand faster than the speed of light.
2. The big bang was, instead, a big eruption and this big eruption erupted "stuff" so fast that space enlarged at a rate faster than the speed of light.An Oscillating Universe:
A Universe in which Dark Energy could not or did not become, sufficiently, concentrated and therefore could not or did not overcome gravity.
The expansion of such a Universe would slow down, reverse direction, and collapse.
Big bang after big bang.A Non-Oscillating Universe:
A Universe in which Dark Energy could and did become, sufficiently, concentrated and therefore began to act against gravity.
The expansion of such a Universe would have, initially, started to slow down but – as more and more Dark Energy became concentrated – the expansion would cease slowing down and start to speed up.
The physical Universe would fly away, leaving behind the concentrated Dark Energy.If the purpose of creation is to concentrate Dark Energy, then oscillating Universes are failures.
THEDOG
IDIOTS EXPLANATION August 2, l998
An impromptu dissertation to a question concerning the Toast of the Idiots
There are twenty-one gradations of reason from that of the ordinary man to that of our Endlessness. Twenty-one gradations of reason; twenty-one definable existences from when a man comes into being to achieving all that a man can attain; twenty-one different gradations.
A being starts as an ordinary idiot–standing between the ace of diamonds and the jack of diamonds. He has an ordinary gradation of reason, just enough to assimilate something. An ordinary idiot has mechanical, instinctive reason, he can get out of the sun when it is hot, he can eat when he is hungry. He is the good ol’ ordinary idiot.
From there another gradation of reason is available: the super idiot. Super idiot–still pretty mechanical, still pretty much centered in his instinctive center, but with some drawn attention starting to arise. Super idiot–between the jack and the queen of diamonds–starts to be drawn by certain sensual impulses from all that is taking place outside of him.
We don’t get much from Gurdjieff on ordinary, super, and arch; but when we see where they are located, we can see why they are all in essence–the instinctive side of a man.
Arch idiot–from the queen of diamonds to the king of diamonds–we are still in the instinctive center but are dealing with a little bit more control. Probably starting to be very responsive to the world around us. And that is about all we get from those three.
Hopeless idiot starts the personality development–between the king of diamonds and the jack of clubs. The addition for the hopeless idiot is “dies an honorable death”, someone who is fulfilling, at least automatically, the duties of his position. He can say “I worked hard for a living; I went to church and paid my tithe; I did all the things that were supposed to be done”…and he dies an honorable death. He does what was asked and probably not much more; but certainly he has contributed to the church and donated some money to the poor and left a few bags of food on peoples’ doorsteps at Christmas. He feels he has paid his dues. But it is only the beginning of personality starting to form in the moving center.
And again, we are talking about the cards from Steward and beyond, from the moment a man wakes up conscience and comes into existence where he starts to portray these various gradations of idiot in himself.
From the hopeless idiot, he becomes a false hopeless idiot—“who is satisfied with himself and does not see that he is a candidate for perishing like a dog.” The jack of clubs to the queen of clubs; more personality–more drawn attention–maybe now we get into doing Gurdjieff Movements; doing all these elaborate yogi techniques. But we don’t see that this alone cannot take us very far; we are also going to die like a dog if this is all we have got.
From the false hopeless idiot to the squirming idiot, “who is not yet ready for help”–between the queen of clubs and the king of clubs–who still has not overcome the idea of dying like a dog; who is still serving the drawn personality in his moving center.
Then something happens; he becomes a true hopeless idiot–king of clubs to the ace of clubs. He completes the moving center and has the possibility of entering into the next development of essence. Unfortunately, the true hopeless idiot “sees his own complete nothingness but does not realize that the death of self is the guarantee of his resurrection”…that something in him has to die.
Ordinary, super, arch, hopeless, false hopeless, squirming, the seventh idiot–true hopeless, where something greater has to occur to a man in order for him to get rid of himself. He has acquired sensation, he has acquired movement, but he has to go beyond that in order to attain anything more. And this idea, of getting to so much and then having to give it up, having to come to one’s own nothingness, having to die in order to be born again, this is the true hopeless idiot.
From there he becomes a compassionate idiot–moves into the hearts, the ace of clubs to the jack of hearts—“whose reason has opened to enter into the sufferings of others.” Now suddenly, a being develops care and concern. He starts to recognize the struggles, and the sufferings, and the aims, and the wishes, and the desires of people around him. He has pretty much acquired something for himself–in the personality–and now he has moved into another level of essence, on one that is emotional based, where he starts to feel for the world around him, and recognize things outside of himself.
Then there are three geometric idiots he must go through: the square, the round, and the zigzag, which signify the development, in him, of the beginning of true reason. It starts, first “momentarily”, with the jack of hearts to the queen of hearts.
Next, the queen of hearts to the king of hearts, which represent “the discovery of ones’ true identity.”
Finally, he reaches the king of hearts to the jack of spades—“the desperate struggle to break free”. He is the man who has the five Friday’s in a week. The zig-zag idiot, who has not moved into the next moment of acquired reason, the reason that comes when one passes the higher emotional center and begins to merge into the higher mental center.
The desperate struggle to break free…five Fridays in the week….‘Friday’ represents the end of a work week, right there at the beginning of having time off, of having fun for yourself, of attaining something, something you can have now ‘cause you’ve worked all week and the week’s almost over, now tomorrow’s my day off and I can go to the lake, I can do this, I can fulfill myself, I can have the results of the fruits of my work, but for the zigzag idiot who has five Fridays in a week. He is always on the edge, he is always right there, never attaining. He is just a moment away from gaining something for himself, i.e., the desperate struggle to break free of the higher emotional center and move into reason, to attain the jack of spades, to become an enlightened idiot–between the jack and the queen of spades. But for the enlightened idiot “even God can not help” because he is using only the most automatic part of the most automatic part of his reason.
From here he must consciously descend, he must go back and become an ordinary idiot again, and purge the inexactitudes. He must do the things that he has not done; go back and tackle all the things he has avoided along the way. He is going to need the build up of all that has come before him in order for him to move further.
Reason comes with a price, it comes with the price of the best working of the lower parts of the machine, i.e., the first eleven gradations of reason that preceded it.
From the enlightened idiot he becomes a doubting idiot; he moves between the queen of spaces to the king of spades. He has become enlightened, has consciously descended, has worked on himself, has purged his various centers, developed more parts, ate his oysters to overcome the things that he was always afraid of, and has lost his enamoured view of all the things that he has always been pleased with; and then he begins to doubt what he is! I die to myself, and now, I do not have any of the things I wanted…what do I do from here?
Maybe we can even throw in the idea that here, having now come to something himself, in passing enlightenment, he wonders whether there is any possibility of this just being unique to himself. Is it just subjective to him, or can something be passed on?
Next, he becomes a swaggering idiot–from the king of spades to the ace of spades–who has acquired something more in reason, recognizing that what he has attained is beyond doubt, it is firmly rooted in objectiveness and in conscience; and so, he begins to swagger. People at this point may be looked at by others as being a little cocky, or a little bold, or a little condescending to the world around them; because in their state of clarity they cannot do anything but rejoice. Nothing is motivated in them to put someone else down, they are just enthusiastic in their own discovery of themselves and they swagger.
Then we have the born idiot and the patented idiot, followed by two idiots whose names we do not know.
The born idiot–from the ace of spades to the ace of diamonds–has to do with a man finally catching up with the interval that he fulfills in organic life. He is born of the second waters. He has claimed his own existence. He becomes a true teacher; and the work–a school–will live. The patented idiot is acquired when he begins to help others become born idiots. If he can give it to someone else, it can be patented. A proven way.
Then we have two gradations of idiot for which we do not have names, which brings us up to the 18th gradation of reason, to the joker.
There are three gradations of reason beyond that: the 19th, the 20th, and the 21st. They go beyond man where there is nothing but jokers; nothing but the higher centers, represented by their smallest parts. This is the place where something can transform and a man is able to withstand the shock of his own physical death. These last three gradations go beyond a man and are only available to the Sons of God, to those who were able to transcend the octave. Now, what does it mean to become a Son of God? Can we become Sons of God, or do we have to be born of a virgin?
Perhaps, that is the secret. We have to give birth to ourselves.
thedog
