It’s All About Doubling

[Russell Smith]

Student in BLUE.
My response in BLACK.

Russ, I wanted to thank you for a really excellent class. Your comments on how Conscience first cleans up intellect (by purging false ideas), so then Reason can gravitate to more objective models of the world, and activate Higher Mental center. Then Higher Mental can reach back and clean up the inaccurate Emotional center belief structures, and only then, finally, can the clarified Conscience become the Emotional part of Higher Mental Center to produce Impartiality. That made a big, emotional impression on me. I really am seeing the value, for myself, of being free of my opinions, judgments, and beliefs–Permanently! (And have I got that sequence right, now? I didn’t want to disturb you by signing on to Ventrilo to play the recording just yet.)

Also it was so encouraging to be validated that I’m getting closer to that open space for Reason which is necessary for practicing Double or Nothing part 2. (comment directed to another student), I really appreciated your sharing also, about the difference it has made to you when Russ clarified the necessity of a strong emotional component to doubling if it was to become permanent. That helped me too. Thank you for your comments and for the insights into there being "two of you!"

Russ, you asked for more examples. Here is my ‘overweight’ doubling. I’ve had an internal judgement of overweight people for a long time, even though I have known, intellectually, that there is no justification for it. A very close friend is overweight, and I know they have put themselves though endless diets, privations, and self-recrimination about it. But still an inner attitude has persisted in me that somehow fat people are to blame for their condition, and ‘should just have more self-control’. (Of course, when ‘I’ try to diet, I’ve also found it near impossible: that is, it works for a time, then I run out of gas, and the weight returns. And I don’t even have a genetic tendency to being overweight!)

So here is my doubling:

"This person has probably suffered all their life from being overweight. They have put themselves through endless physical and mental torture in an effort to overcome this probably genetic tendency. If it wasn’t genetic, the weight gain was very likely the result of sexual abuse, and an inner need for a defense against being attractive. Then they have been harshly judged by others all of their life. People are rude to them, sometimes won’t even look at them. They are ridiculed in movies and on TV. As a result, this person, compared with me, is a physical and emotional athlete, managing to cope with a life experience vastly more difficult than mine. I have absolutely no business judging this person! I should have such strength and persistence in my efforts to be a better person!"

I do water aerobics in a class of some 30 very overweight people, who show up week after week, rain or shine, to work out and stay healthy. I have finally stopped judging them, due to this exercise. Thank you, Russ!

And the thing about Denying Force being Holy… that finally sank in with the example of God (12) needing us (8) to get unstuck! So…Anything that I am having trouble with (being denied by, and resenting) can be a wonderful, useful shock, as a reminding factor, to help me evolve. A universal doubling idea. I feel I’m finally getting what it means to make the effort to make Personality passive. It’s all about doubling.

I hated your email.

It made me weep for several minutes and, as I only have one good eye which can clearly focus after I lost the facial nerve… the tears made the good eye blurry – and I couldn’t read the rest of your email or even finish typing and proof reading the email that I was composing to another student – for like 20 minutes… until the blurriness went away.

Curse you!!

OK, back now.

Yes, yes, yes… you have the sequence right, you are seeing reality correctly, and you are developing the resolve to get there.

"It’s all about doubling!" — Sokath, his eyes uncovered!!!!

The blind man can not think less of a fat man.

A doubled student can tell you a great deal about the glorious state of a man who has been actively engaged in destroying his levers and therefore can not see them.

Keep doubling till you are blind to yours.

Well done (except for the part about making me tear).

You won’t disturb me in Ventrilo by listening to a recording. I am in a different channel, and even if I was in the same channel, I would not hear your recording. Ventrilo just announces when someone enters… or when someone joins the channel that I am in and thus alerts me that they wish to either have a conversation with me or to yell at me.

Love,

Russ

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