Mr. Smith’s awakening and how he became a teacher
This is what happened to Russell. It began with his awakening. Here is how he described it:
I started studying the Gurdjieff work in the late 70’s… and in 1980 I awoke.
A pretty cool moment. Thoughts stopped. The silence was deafening. There was a presence in the presence of myself that I could not shake. Wow, what the heck just happened? I was awake; and, it has been that way ever since.
I was not out to attract students, or to become a teacher, or to start a school.
You must understand that before I awoke, I was eager to share my beliefs with others… to let everybody know what I was doing, what I found, what I learned, and what I liked. I would tell them, “You should read this book, watch this movie, come to my church, or be interested in this or that.” Then, if they did read that book, watched that movie, attended my church, or became interested in this or that, it validated my beliefs. And, the more people I could persuade to like what I liked, the more valuable what I liked became.
But, after I awoke, I no longer felt compelled to share what I had found with others. I no longer needed my beliefs to be accepted by other people for them to be valuable. They were valuable. Being awake was valuable. Being able to stop thoughts was valuable. Having reason, impartiality, and inner silence was valuable. My awake state needed no validation. For the first time in my life I was outwardly silent. I did not need to convince anybody to do what I was doing.
And, thereafter, when people came into my life and questioned me about higher things (I guess because they sensed something higher in me) I resisted talking to them about this work or my inner state, because I did not want to proselytize the work. It was too precious. It needed to be protected… not diluted.
However, some of the folks with whom I had frequent contact kept approaching me and asking me questions. Questions about who I was, why I seemed so different, what I studied… and, if I was studying something, could they study it too?
Eventually, a persistent few drew a response from me… and I gave them the book The Psychology of Man’s Possible Evolution by Ouspensky. Those, who read it and wanted more, I gave The Fourth Way also by Ouspensky – a book I have read a hundred times. After that, if they came back and wanted more, I began to answer their questions.
So, like it or not, I was forced to become a teacher.
Soon, a group of seekers gathered at my home whenever I was in town as my employment required extensive travel. These seekers became serious about their work and the teachings of Gurdjieff. Over the next several years they continued to ask questions and make exceptional efforts.
During that time, I made many discoveries about the inner-world of man and about the laws of World-creation and World-maintenance; discoveries that would ultimately lead to an Objective Exercise that caused the parts of a man to unify – and the man, himself, to awaken.
It happened on March 30th, 1990. I was in New Orleans training a salesman. And, that night, when I went back to my room, I put the following question to my Higher Center, “Why are the students, who have been studying with me, not awake? They read the books I read. They do the exercises I do. They are honorable folks. They are sincere. They are hard workers. Why are they not awake?”
The answer illuminated my inner world like the sun!
The Higher Center said:
“You awoke subjectively.
“All teachers awake subjectively.
“All schools die when their teachers die.
“No one can teach the subjective way in which they awoke to others.”
The higher then told me the following story of a man who was desperately trying to awaken…. Wishing. Praying. Seeking.
“One day, a man was walking through the forest, his eyes were on the heavens, his thoughts were on his God, his mind was on his quest, and his prayers were on his tongue.
“However, he was not watching where he was walking; and, in sandaled feet, his toe struck a root.
“He kicked the root with such force, the pain was excruciating. He grabbed his toe and was hopping around on one foot.
“At that moment – that event (coupled with his search, his quest, his wish, and his prayer) caused his machine to align and the man to awaken. It was glorious. He became enlightened.
“After that, everyone who met the man recognized his being. They questioned who he was and what he was studying. He eventually told them of his quest, his wish, his prayer, and how he had kicked the root and awoke.
“Soon a school formed around the man (a school based on his quest, his wish, and his prayer) with hundreds of students walking through the forest, in sandaled feet, trying to kick a root just like he had, in hopes that they too would awake.
“But, no one ever did.
“And, when the man died, his school died.
“I repeat, ‘You cannot pass on a subjective way!’”
The higher proved to me, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that all enlightened men had failed to show others how to awaken, because they were unable to pass on the subjective way in which they, themselves, had awoke.
It made it clear… no matter how sincere my students were nor how hard they worked; I would be unable to pass on to them the subjective way in which I awoke.
When I realized that truth, I was saddened, disappointed, and dismayed; but, for some unknown reason, I looked back at my Higher Center with deep concern and yelled, “If no one can pass on a subjective way… then, give me an objective way!”
And… it did.
It said, “As you have already figured out the structure, that is, the rules and laws that underlie the Universe, here is how they apply.” It then arranged everything I had discovered into a dynamic model and said, “Everyone, who comprehends this model and then performs the following exercise, will awake.”
It then gave me a remarkably simple exercise. When it did, I realized I had been given an objective way. I realized my students would awaken. I realized my school would not die when I died. What an incredible moment it was!
I arrived back home in Dallas the evening of March 31st, in time for our weekly class on April 1st. At that class, I told the students about the conversation I had with my Higher Center and then shared with them the exercise I had received.
When I did, they awoke. After the silence, they were ecstatic. From that day on, they began referring to the exercise as, “The Objective Exercise.” – La Fin